slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

wisepuma23:

thegalacticdeepend:

hadeniikuze:

the-megs:

guruthethird:

padalurki:

isaacedlahey:

on a scale of one to (500) days of summer how much do people completely misinterpret what you’re trying to say

romeo & juliet

Fight Club

The Great Gatsby

The Bible.

And we have a winner.

image

(Source: grantaired)

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